The Lover album by Taylor Swift

If I should feel haunted, and that is what I am feeling, the I would be grateful, because there is a lyric by Taylor Swift that I like, "Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around", in Sparks Fly song. I would be grateful, to feel the haunted feeling for what I still do not know about you, but I know that you have your eyes on me. And I am feeling comfortable to be with you.

Papa (My Dad) - the photos sent to me in November 21, 2013

My photo collections may be too scattered all the way, too many people to know by the readers, or maybe too imaginative because I like making thoughts, even though sometimes I have mistakes. But, these photos are my Dad's, it is when he was studying for his Master degree. I love you, Dad.

Lover album by Taylor Swift, 2019, and all the songs in the album

In November 11, 2017, I wrote the status in this Facebook account of mine that I was married, up until now I have the status. The date is known to be the most single day ever in the year, 11-11. But now, this year, you make this year so special Taylor Swift, that you would perform in Alibaba, in China. Taylor Swift is with her Mom Andrea, and she also stays in Japan since 7 November. This is kinda my first time, knowing her in the time zone two hours earlier than here in Indonesia. Usually, I wonder how in New York the time is, 11 hours latter than in Indonesia. At least, and at all cost, I guess that this year is good, too. It feels like, "It's Nice To Have A Friend", by Taylor Swift in Lover, 2019.

Death By A Thousand Cuts, London Boy, Soon You'll Get Better, by Taylor Swift; ME!, Taylor Swift ft. Brendon Urie; Lover by Taylor Swift; Lover album by Taylor Swift

Sometimes, the other people might get too straightforward to conclude that the songs I listen to and share is used by me to make some statements. Then, I would say, no, I just like the songs. They are the creation, they are the products of some discourse in the particular events in life by the creator. And, I just like the songs.

Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince, Taylor Swift; ME!, Taylor Swift ft. Brendon Urie; all of the songs in Lover, by Taylor Swift, 2019

I'd never intend to disturb you, or make you unhappy with anything I might do. But, when you choose to leave me when I need you, I am sorry, for whatever you do not like about me. It was considered so rude, and mean, to me. I am sorry.

Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince, Paper Rings by Taylor Swift in Lover, 2019

She added: "They don't have to sign stuff that's unfair to them. If you don't ask the right questions and you sit in front of the wrong desk in front of the wrong person, they can take everything from you". Like what my father did to me, to let me do that, signing the deathly contract for insurance and payment of a car, to be paid as the name of my father's team member, "you know who he is", I would not mention because I am not that important in the wrong situation. There are the things for sure, that my father makes it as if he is already gone and gives his inheritance to the other person just IN FRONT OF my face, when he is still alive. I would not imagine what those "high fives between the bad guys" would do in the future. There are two things I would urge to say to you, my father's inheritance is not of my life priority because it is my God's inheritance that matters, and I would give you, if you do not believe it, it lasts forever and I have been realizing this since in the early years of my life, that I would give you two things: my father, and a car, or whatever the things you might consider it is the only one source from my father. If you would still feel the parts of me still includes something coming from my dad, it is, because I am who are his daughter, not you, not anyone else, not the employee of my father, but I would not think about it anyway, because it does not matter for me, and I would live my life my own ways, of course in the ways that God likes me to do, too.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/elliewoodward/taylor-swift-revealed-why-spoke-out-scott-borchetta-drama

Lover, The Man, The Archer, I Think He Knows, Miss Americana &The Heartbreak Prince, Paper Rings, by Taylor Swift in Lover, 2019

My father's life makes me accustomed to living in almost no privacy in life. Like, what I do everyday, what I plan, what I even think of, should be and always be afforded to be known, like I am in a net with him, my activities and thoughts should be patterned to his favor. My activities should be known by him, by his relatives, by his wife, maybe by his other daughter than me, and for sure by his members of "teams" just to know about my life. My dad, or whoever anyone else reading this, this is a good lesson for you, that you could not read someone else's mind, because it is the real life. You could never be able to just hack someone else's thought, to behave badly so you could mock them because you would make yourselves superior and better than what they did. You could never define someone by their flaws, because the flaws are human being things. You could never judge someone by only your pattern that you want them think of. You could never see the future of someone else's, because it is the God's affairs, kindness, and the person's might too as a human being to live properly, and well, without your hacking. You could never stir someone else's life, because the life of the citizens is in the human being rights. And you COULD NEVER just take away someone else's privacy, like what they feel about something, because they do not only have you but their lives, you are not so that important so you could relate anything he or she does with what is about you or what you know, like what they think of, they hope about, because you do not know yet and, YET, the wishes in the lives of the other person. Everyone is surely hoping to be a good person. Not like you, they have their ways, they have their colors. Love is equal, my dad, not only for the "great" known person like you, or in your versions or thoughts. Like what Taylor Swift says, that those who disagrees that love is equal NEEDS to Calm Down.

Death By A Thousand Cuts, London Boy, Soon You'll Get Better by Taylor Swift in Lover, 2019

I work for goodness, genuity, all the sincere and clear all goodness and kindness education needs to deal with. My father is doing for goodness. But at home, I mean for me, he would always make me the last one to know, the one left not being met when he went off, the one not published or introduced on photos online for happiness to share to others, and I could still forgive him. But this time around, I found all things that I am left for the bad things, being mocked by the relatives of his that I am a bad girl, no matter the good things I have done. My dad, it is not my goodness value. I always want to take photos or always miss my students, while you do not do the photo with me. My dad, you could not ask that much to me, to accept being sent away when I was in your house, to be ruined by your relatives who are just to mock at me, yes you are present sometimes for me, but all the negative things, you chose not to cope with them. Not for me, it is as a human being right. Now you bought me a car, but you just gave me after I asked for it five years ago, you gave me one secondhand, after more than a year August 2018, on September this year I just knew that it was paid in the credits, and you did the credit for the specialty of your work partner, not for me, giving the car some insurance and must give the benefits for your working partner, but you let your working partner mock at me. Again, what would I be in your face? Someone to mock at? Then you make it the requirement that the trainings for driving the car would only be available in Monday to Friday. Did you expect me not to go to work? While you make someone work to teach me to drive, not about the person, but look at your behaviour just to give me only difficulties for my life. I never ask you this much, but where did you go when I was a child? Did you give me rice as per the government's request to be given to your child? Anyway, I am your child. Not the other person unrelated to you. But you came, I forgive you and your relatives, now your relatives would mock me as a bad girl whatever I would do, even if it is the good thing. My value in education, is not in line with what you have done towards me. I tried to understand you, I have been trying to do so. But the things you give to me continuously, promising, to be just this negative and destructive forever, all the time. My dad, now I'd tell you, you could not do this to me. I am not your trash bin. Everyone is responsible for his or her life. So you could not just intend to ruin my life. I am sorry.

Cruel Summer, Lover songs and Lover album by Taylor Swift

It really matters with the verbs. If you do good things, you would have a space to show the others about the good things. If you do bad things, it does not even matter whether you are having a big power and well known, your reputation, and "Lover" matters with goodness.

Anyway, it is not reputation era. The reputation era has been developed into the "Lover" era. If you tried to get someone back to the reputation era, you just can't, because many people, maybe everyone, has heard and have been having the "Lover" albums, songs, by Taylor Swift.

You Need To Calm Down, Afterglow, ME! by Taylor Swift

Dad, you are sinking. Why? Because you are with the bad guys. And you make your team to destroy me, with all money and strengths you have, you use your power to diminish me. So I'd tell you once again, you are sinking. Because there is the God. Allah SWT.

Afterglow by Taylor Swift

Just because you are given many things by your father, it does not mean that you are no one, useless, and do not deserve any respectful behavior from others, including the people who know your father. Revenge? Yes, it is a revenge. It means to the state that you could do many things meaningful, well not for proving yourself is better than anyone or to be proud of, but because you are a human. You deserve all the feelings that humans could ever feel. Sadness as well as happiness, feeling useless by being mocked, as well as being successful in your career work way.

A Place In This World by Taylor Swift

God, please give me a house
Or some rent houses or places I could live in
Without anxiety or fear or sadness

Without feeling frightened to be sent away from, just because the people who own the house, or feel the only owner of the house think they deserve punishing me who seem to be just the tourist

God, I also want to stay
But where could I stay?
If I have a house, given by my dad, but my mom envy me so much with all her life just because I would own a house
Which I could dream forever to have one

God, where could I stay?
If my dad let my stepmother sent me away from his place
And if I stay in my grandma's house, grandma from mom, but her children, all of them, including my mom dislike me to bother their place


God, where could I stay?
If my dad let me rent a room downtown, but all the neighbours envy me, just because I rent the room for me alone, and they would bother me all day with cigarette smokes, lying request to mop the public area floor and I would not, even the women neighbours would look at me at disgust, and knock on my wall deliberately, frequently in a day, and making the scenario as if the men are the good ones and I was the only one person who is bad.

God, whom I could marry with?
If the person I love would be taken too by You, for being with another girl downtown, which I never ever imagined he would plan for this all along.

And the dream parents in law, and the society, and him, would last forever betraying me because it did happen.

God, I have many questions as I mentioned about the unfair things. But, I have a genuine question, where could I stay, where could I live in, whom I could marry, could I be with the one I love, would you not allow others make my life as a discussion or something to expose about, because I do not want it to be, and where would be our place together in the world? ....

ME! ; It's Nice To Have A Friend ; Daylight ; I Forgot That You Existed ; Cruel Summer, by Taylor Swift in Lover album, 2019

What's inside your heart and head now
When your own mother called you "dog", the way she ever mentioned your stepmother. When you do good for her, love her much. But she had done it only because you had a house now. When she had not yet on her own. When you thought she'd be delightful to receive that that house would be hers too. And she could stay there too.

When your own mother scratched your skin on both of your hands, blaming you would steal money of hers from her wallet away, when you would only try to harm that, if she felt this house was ever being mine only, then please give back the keys you have for this house. When what you do thw whole life is saving money for good only, not using money for the unimportant things, looking for money of your own, even when you still had a college schedules. What would you feel to see your mother that highly loving things than knowing it hurts to be thought of intending to steal her money, about her own daughter. Did she forget everthing good we had? Or maybe I have been all alone. That she would never care about that, and feeling being your mother has been already the big things in her life.

When your own mother woke you up in a morning, just to blame that you did a drug abuse for not sleeping in the night even after having the trip of going to cities, Malang Surabaya and back to Malang, when all you did at night was a struggle, a fight, to just finish your Holy Al Quran daily reading target and not to fall asleep until Tahajjud and Shubuh prayers had been done, when she is not really a fan of doing the prayers routinely. What would you feel, to see your mother being a fan just to hurt you. Using whatever she could find to use.





What I felt about her was a contradictory thing. I once believed and sure I would lie on her. Now, I know that I would not consider her as a hope for me or someone to rely on. If I'd die first, and she'd still dream to have her death fate about one hundred years later, then I would accept her bad things she did, and she still does.


I had some conclusion last year, it is beautiful not to know or just to forget who I am. Who my father is, who my mother is. Just who I am or who I was from my family.


My father also, suddenly, cheated on me, without my acknowledgement assuring an unknown boy to me just to put pressure on me to accept him to marry him. What would my father think of me? A trash? An unused thing to throw and give shrug about that violence he did? Or was or is he trying to kill me?


You know what is on my mind now, I guess. I would not ever hear anyone again. Whom I love, is who is meaningful to me. I do not care that he is my father, she is my mother. It is me who faces my life, so it is me who knows more, and knows what my life would go into, or is going to be like.

I would go on my life with the good things.


Lufi Wirmarini Lukman, 18 October 2019, 21:22 Indonesia's West area Time.

Taylor Swift's Lover album - ME! song, all the songs - reputation is in 2017 - Lover album out now

Dad, you could take all you have brought for me for you.
Mom, you could enjoy meal of your own and mention back all the things you had done that you might think the only cause for I am now.

All Makassar people (I mean my Dad's family), you could mock at me only for not wearing jilbab, while you wear, but you still the fans of being the haters for whatever I do, even no matter when it is good, and could just let Prilly (my Dad's second taken up daughter) not wear jilbab like what you all insist me do, when Prilly herself does not have any connection to me.


Allah SWT might know what all of you had done to me. Until I get this so bad in your imaging.


I just get tired of everything I should hold.

All of my Dad's member (I mean the navy that my Dad has asked to build a house for me, or anything else related to make attempts to do something seemed for me), I notice and have been noticing that you tend to take advantage of knowing my Dad instead of giving me help, even you tend to foresee things about me secretly, planning to just wait me to fall, when every human gets their own problems so my affairs are of course not your business, you could mock at me the way you like.






I get tired of your loud behavior just to try to step on my gown. When all of them are the bad ones. All make me feel you stepped on gown.


Please, go on if you like it.

But know that someday things will go upside down. Someday you might see that all the bad things of yours be back with the best Love of Allah SWT just, special, for you all.




Written by : Lufi Wirmarini Lukman
12 October 2019
22:54 West of Indonesia Time.

I Think He Knows by Taylor Swift in Lover, 2019

I love you

The past loves may be the fake ones
Or ones I attempt to kill my time


But now that I found you
I don't want to look at anything else now that I saw you

Daylight by Taylor Swift, in Lover, 2019

Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince by Taylor Swift in Lover, 2019

'Cause if I was a man
Then I'd be the man

The Man, Taylor Swift in Lover, 2019

I know who I love
I know what I love to do
And God would give me the answers, too,
For the questions that I had foreseen in my prayers.
And in the good prayers, there come the true wishes that only God could do.

God: Allah SWT.

From me, Lufi Wirmarini Lukman. Like Love, Taylor.

Inspired by The Man by Taylor Swift, in anyways, I would still be okay and stand as The Man like Taylor Swift

It's tragic enough to say that I once believed in the love we had since I first met you more than ten years ago, but these wounds would heal with the answers God gives...

My True Diary

I want to make my own death
Because the death they wrote for me is the perfectly wrong ones
I want to write my own rhymes
Because the images they captured about me is of their favors

Can I ride for a college?
Can I read more books?
Because they only tell me the facts, no more gossips
They say I am selfish enough to hug books and more of the college time,
But they would not comment on how their fake stories about me become so true in the meeting up tables

On their lines, I would appear as the silent one
But they dismiss the fact that they keep me waiting the uncertain opportunities just to make me feel true to myself